Growing up, my parents used to call me their “little ray of sunshine.” I never struggled to look on the bright side of things; obstacles were placed in my way only so that I could tackle them, and believe me, I would tackle them. However, by the end of my 2017 fall semester at KU, I was struggling. I was enrolled in 18 hours (9 of which were hard sciences), working three jobs, juggling friendships, and keeping up with volunteer hours for my service sorority and believe me, I let everyone know it. If people did not pick it up from my talking about it, they had no problem hearing the impatience in my voice, the struggle in my movement, and the anxiety in my actions. During winter break, I started reading the books, “The Secret” and “You Are a Bad Ass” (thank you Mom&Laura) and I realized I have control—control of my actions, my responses, my stress, my body, and most importantly, my frequency.

If you’re unfamiliar with the concept of frequency, here is a short summary so that you don’t feel completely lost: the books mentioned above discuss the theory about how every person expresses a frequency—a wavelength, an energy, a vibe; and according to the Law of Attraction, whatever those frequencies are, that is what a person will allure. For instance, if I am so sure that I am going to have a great day, where I will wake up easily, read my favorite books, annihilate my tests, catch up with good friends, eat my favorite meals, and knock everything off my to do list, my frequency will be raised. If I can envision these things with complete confidence that the Universe will provide and if I can feel gratitude toward the Universe for my awesome day before it even happens because I am so confident that it will happen, my high frequency will attract my incredible day.

After reading these books I began to reflect, and one main question came into my head that changed the course of my life—how do I raise my frequency? My answering this question over winter break has created one of the most wonderful semesters that I could have asked for, and I have a very strong feeling that this trajectory will continue (can you feel my raising frequency?!). So here is my non-exhaustive list of ways to raise your frequency:

1) Figure out what you want.

— I’m not kidding. So often we walk blindly through this life, taking what comes our way simply because we are afraid. We are afraid to fail, afraid of what others will think, afraid to hope, afraid we are not making the right choice, afraid that people will make fun of us, afraid that we will break the status quo, afraid to get hurt. Stop leading your life out of fear and start setting goals, striving for more, investing in you, figuring out what you truly want. My favorite poet, Sarah Kay, has a line in her poem “Point B” that states “this world is made out of sugar, it can crumble so easily, but don’t be afraid to stick your tongue out and taste it.”

2) Invest your time/energy/thoughts/envisions only on positive things that you want to happen.

— For instance, instead of thinking I don’t want to regret any of my college experiences, switch your thought process to I am going to love my college experience, and I am going to do everything in my power to ensure that I am doing things that I want to do and that I love. I will make wonderful memories, I will have brilliant friends. These things will come your way.

3) Only do things that you love, and if you absolutely HAVE to do something, find a way to love it. If you do not like where you are, change it. You have agency; you have control.

— No one likes cleaning the freaking house. But if you’re chatting with your roommates, blasting music, and dancing around, it actually becomes pretty enjoyable.

4) Stop using the word “should,” you either want to, or you do not.

— An example: “I should do my homework.” Nope. I either want to do my homework because I have set goals and expectations for myself and I love to learn, or I do not want to do my homework because it is more important for me to build relationships and hang out with my friends. Should is an in-between ambiguous word only meant to be utilized by people who are terrified to come to terms with what they want.

5) Invest in yourself.

— Go to the gym. Get an endorphin rush. Do it because you love your body and you love yourself and you take care of things that you care about. Eat foods that fuel your brain and your body. Utilize intrinsic motivation to encourage healthy behavior. This type of motivation will sustain you an indefinite length, but extrinsic motivation such as “I want to get a beach body” will deplete your enthusiasm quickly. And lemme tell ya (just a side note), ANY BODY IS A BEACH BODY. Investing in yourself also means saying positive things about yourself. All of the time. Read a book. Learn about the human condition. Figure out that your emotions are experienced by other humans. Do things that make you happy.

6) Invest in others.

— Give back to the communities that have molded you, shaped you, and inspired you. Volunteer in places that bring you energy and happiness. Pay attention to the people that you love, ask questions and actually pay attention to the answers. Check-up on people. Care about the people around you. Do favors for other people just because you love them.

7) Wake up every day and say three things that you are grateful for.

— It doesn’t have to be complicated. Some mornings it might be as simple as I am grateful for my sheets, other days you might have the mental capacity to create an incredibly complex haiku. Whatever floats your boat honestly.

8) Start sentences with “this is good because…”

— There is always a silver lining.

9) Surround yourself with quality people. If you can’t find a quality person, be a quality person.

— Stay close to people that build you up. We’re all navigating this life fairly blindly; having people that care about you, that speak highly of you, that know and respect your character, and that remind you of your worth when you’re struggling is one of the most magnificent things. Oh, and when people tell you how great you are accept the compliment. You freaking rock.

10) Appreciate the little things

— And when someone does a little thing for you, show them some gratitude.

11) Pay attention to people that are doing things you love.

— Find happiness in the fact that someone else in this world is appreciating something in which you enjoy investing your time as well.

12) Utilize self-efficacy.

— This is the adult version of “The Little Engine That Could.” There is experimental evidence that if you truly believe that you can do something, you will be more likely to complete the action. It’s an actual Health Behavior Theory, look it up!!

13) If people treat you poorly, be better to them than they were to you.

— Class never goes out of style and you control your reactions.

14) Walk with a purpose and think about brightening the days of the people you pass.

— You will be shocked at the amount of people that smile back. Compliment strangers… everyone likes a sincere compliment. ***Bonus: if you listen to music while you do this you will most definitely feel like you’re in a movie.

15) Think about what a bad ass you are on a regular basis.

— Remember that you are kicking ass and taking names at all times. Know that you are going places; be grateful for the places that you are going– emotionally, financially, physically, spiritually. Fill your future with emotional gratitude before your body even gets there.

16) Bet on yourself

— And focus all of your energy on ensuring you made the right choice.

If you think this is all BS, try it for one day. This universe loves you. You are going places. You control your frequency, and I have full faith that you can and will raise it.